I've always had the awful feeling ever since I was young, that all of my peers had somehow had much more fun or important experiences growing up, while I'd just spent it messing about or throwing myself into weird projects without anything to show for it. Growing up I would have always told you that I never felt envy for anyone else (that's the word I would have used anyway) but I think it was more some sort of proto-FOMO or even some sort of urge to have a legacy or accomplishment. As I get older, I find it harder to reconcile what I see my life is and what it should be, especially my professional life, but I have absolutely no idea what I need to do to be a 'success'. So I guess the first step is to start looking at what makes me happy even if I'm filled with disquiet about the thought of just 'floating along'.